I truly believe on one hand that we are in the age of abundance. One where there is never a winner takes all. We have so many opportunities right now, thanks to the way the world is structured, that it is not hard to win. But because we have too many opportunities, unless there’s structure to what you are doing, it’s again hard to win. Because you may fall victim to the Shiny Object Syndrome and keep moving from thing to thing.
The other day, I was coaching my daughter telling her that learning is way more important than marks. As parents, most people want their kids to get top “ranks” in class. However if you think about it, the world is not a zero sum game. We often talk about win-win situations, and other things that essentially mean we all can be successful in our own ways. She’s good at several things, which means it’s really hard to crack the top spot in one. I believe, that in the AI era, generalists win big time.
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When parents want their kids to get top “ranks” in class, they are indirectly signalling that other kids getting lesser “ranks” is acceptable or even necessary. How are we then inculcating a win-win mindset in the first place I wonder. Growing up, they’ll end up in a rat race to come first, but rarely win in life. To that extent, in our home, we never ask what their rank is — we simply ask their marks, that too in the context of, if they’re getting less marks, that it implies lesser conceptual clarity.
My son though— he wants to be a cricketer. For him competition is important, because unless he “ranks” well, he cannot succeed. There too, what I tell him is to give his best. Long ago, I read this quote
Success is the peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming. — Coach John Wooden
And it stuck with me forever. As long as he is operating at the edge of what he is capable of, he’s good. That itself is success to me. And I will ensure he treats success also the same way.
One small step in parenting, one huge difference in how they approach life.
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