This post from Chaitanya (CTO, Ozonetel) made me lose my sleep and deeply influenced me to the point where I had to finally pen down my own thoughts. It was a morning well spent.

The smartest people I know are being treated like sh** in America right now. Highly skilled immigrants who built half of the Tech World are suddenly “the problem.” If you’re one among them, I feel for you. What’s happening is unfair.

If that’s not worse, everyone who already has a visa, green card or citizenship is staying quiet because they’re scared. They want to speak up, but they really can’t. One wrong tweet or post and maybe they lose everything and have to return from “land of the free.” to relocate somewhere else.

I’ve lived this story. Not in a dramatic way that people are experiencing it right now — but nevertheless in a way that one can relate to it even 8 years later. The reason behind this post is to tell you why I walked away from the American dream in 2017, and why I’d make the same choice today.

It’s a story whose time has come.

First, let me tell you exactly how ridiculous the whole system is.

The Immigration Circus

Picture this: You’re one of the top engineers in the field of Computer Science. You crack coding interviews like no other. You’re a builder, nerd and a geek. The top tech companies — Google, Microsoft, Amazon, and so on - they all want you. They spend $20,000+ on lawyers to prove to the US government that you’re so exceptional, so irreplaceable, that they simply cannot find an American to do your job.

Hundreds of pages of documents. Your degrees verified three times over. Letters from everyone. You may even ask your current employer or professors from college to write essays about why you’re the next Steve Jobs. The government agrees - yes, this person is extraordinary.

Then you land in America and... you’re treated like a criminal on probation.

Can’t change jobs easily. Can’t start a company. Can’t volunteer for organizations. Can’t even make plans to go visit your home country whenever you like.

Your spouse? They might get work authorization one year, lose it the next, get it back, lose it again. It’s insane. Or worst yet, they stay back in the home country waiting for a visa.

Here’s the thing though — The H1Bs only came to the US because they were invited into it. They took the legal path.

The H1B became so popular, and the US too in leveraging it — because unlike many other nations, where the rules change every year, or are opaque, US ensures unprecedented transparency, political stability and so on — oh wait.

Personally, I never fancied going to the US to move there forever. Giving up my Indian passport to live an American dream was not my thing. I simply wanted to work on some cool cutting-edge tech, grow personally and professionally and return.

That was the plan.

I did apply for a Green Card though, but only because I thought I could deal with one less (visa) headache. To me, the wait for a GC wasn’t about becoming American. It was about having the freedom to work on what I wanted, when I wanted or to visit India on my terms. But apparently, such a basic human right was simply too much to ask.

I vividly remember sitting across a conversation during lunch once in 2012 (a year after I’d moved), listening to my colleague Raj (not his real name) talk about his green card application. He’d been waiting 3 years. Three years! Wow, that’s such a long time. If I have to wait for 3 years for a GC, I should reconsider continuing to be in the US I thought.

When I moved to the US in 2011, the typical wait for EB2 based green cards was under 1 year. Today this is decades.

Also, the Timeline.

2011: Left Hyderabad for Microsoft HQ in Seattle.

2017: Left America to do my MBA at ISB and start my own company.

When I was returning, many thought I was crazy. We had everything — we bought a house in Klahanie (one of those perfect American suburban communities) within 2.5 years of living there and could have comfortably retired by 40. My career was flying high too, and I was making more money than I ever dreamed of as a kid in India.

But money wasn’t the point for us anymore. Life was too short to not take risks.

When Things Started Feeling Wrong

December 14, 2012. Sandy Hook happened.

My wife Asvini and I were trying to have kids. We were about 1.5 years in, living in the US. And she’d just suffered from a miscarriage a few months earlier. We were still processing that loss when the news broke: 20 kids murdered at an elementary school.

I was having lunch at one of Microsoft’s cafeterias when the news broke out. Everyone glued to the TV — the mood shifted instantly. I watched my colleagues suddenly rush home to hug their children. Almost everyone left by 2 PM. Never happened before.

I sat at my desk as tears rolled. Not just for those families, but for something I couldn’t even name yet.

I genuinely believed that the worst was over. That, America would ban guns after that. Of course they would, right? How could they not? Twenty children were dead.

Nothing happened.

I learned a new word that year: “thoughts and prayers.” Apparently, that’s what one says when they want to sound concerned but don’t want to actually do anything.

Then came the next shooting. And the next. And the next.

October 24, 2014. Marysville-Pilchuck High School shooting. Only 30 minutes from our house. A freshman named Jaylen Fryberg killed four of his classmates and himself. More thoughts and prayers.

Our daughter.

Akshara was born in 2013, three months early, weighing under 1kg. She spent her first three months bouncing between three hospitals - University of Washington Medical Center, Seattle Children’s Hospital, and Overlake Hospital in Bellevue. The doctors and nurses were incredible. They saved her life. The bill was almost $1 million.

Insurance covered it all. I felt grateful and terrified at the same time. Grateful for the care, terrified thinking about what happens to families who can’t afford this? What happens when the insurance company decides you’ve cost them enough?

The NICU experience also showed me something else about America: the system works beautifully if you have money and good insurance. If you don’t, you’re screwed. There’s no middle ground.

I started noticing this pattern everywhere.

What I Learned About America

The longer I lived there, the stranger things seemed (if only you viewed them without filters):

Politics is like sports teams in the US. People register as Democrat or Republican and stick with their team no matter what. I had colleagues who would defend literally anything their party did, even when it absolutely made no sense. It’s not about policy or performance - it’s tribal loyalty.

Coming from India, where people at least pretend to vote based on development promises (even if they’re lying), this blew my mind. In America, you pick a team and die loyal to it. What nonsense!

Good schools cost money. The public school system is basically designed to perpetuate inequality. Rich neighborhoods get great schools. Poor neighborhoods get schools that look like prisons. Even in most rich neighborhoods, the public schools still lack good education. So, unless you are sending your kid to a private school, they don’t learn well or are subject to other issues like bullying.

Immigration is a bait and switch. The system is designed to extract the best from you and leave you dry when it comes to your own aspirations and goals. Sure, you’ll be rewarded heavily for your work, but you’ll also be thrown out the door the moment someone can find your replacement for $1000 less. Everything is about money. I never experienced this at Microsoft, thankfully.

Politics is huge. In India, we may discuss politics for a few minutes’ tops. In the US, politics is talked about ALL the time. Plus, the influence of politics on policy and on general everyday things is so huge, it destabilizes what you are doing all the time; it’s not just annoying, it’s brutal.

Diversity: In India, you are ok being with friends from diverse ideologies, religions, regions, languages and so on. In the US though, diversity is explicitly talked about all the time. Yet, the reality is that the US never had a woman president in 250 years of its existence — somehow though they are ok preaching diversity to the world.

Everything is performative. Companies love diversity when it’s trendy, drop it when it’s not. I watched diversity initiatives change based on whoever was president. Same executives, same company, completely different messaging every few years. No Spine.

Lobbying is legalized corruption. I only learned this word after relocating to the US. With enough money, you can literally buy politicians to steer policies the way you want. And it’s legal! They call it “lobbying” and it’s a legitimate business.

The fragility of the System. For all that’s worth, I actually admire Trump. Because he was the first president in the history of America to be openly exposing everything for the world to notice. This might in fact lead to fixing America in the long run, while curtailing immigration from other countries so smart people stay where they are.

Fundamentally, the America that you and I knew of from a distance; the one that we admired is long gone. Free speech makes you a security risk, surveillance on your digital footprint is common and everyone is afraid to speak up all the time.

The Deeper Realization

At the time of living there, America’s problems weren’t just policy issues I disagreed with. They were not even my problems to solve.

In India, when something is broken, I feel responsible. When politicians are corrupt, I’m angry because they’re MY politicians screwing over MY people. When schools are bad, I want to fix them because kids like me grew up from them.

In America, I felt like a spectator with no power, interest, or responsibility. I was merely a guest. Even if I did want to turn into fixing some of these things, it meant sacrificing the best decades of my life waiting for my right to do so. So, until then, I understood my position — I was an educated, well-paid spectator, just watching a country fall apart.

If you’ve read it until now, you’d be thinking — but we have more fundamental problems back home in India. But then, my question is, why should you be a tourist in someone else’s democracy when you can be a citizen in your own that too giving your best years!

Why I Returned to India.

Parents:

Asvini and I - we got married at 22. We were too young, rash, and fought with our parents to make it happen. For years when they wouldn’t approve of us. They’d come visit us in the US many times, but there was an unknown silence over many topics. Once we became parents ourselves, we realized many things; our attitude towards relationships and family changed quite a bit as well.

Our parents forgot everything prior, the moment we made them grandparents. I truly believe that meaningful relationships are the only true foundation for happiness. I wanted my kid to grow up in the midst of such relationships.

Startup:

Somewhere along the way, I began building on the side purely out of passion. But I couldn’t launch any of those crazy ideas—because I was on an H1B (after three years on an L1). Legally, I could own a company, but I couldn’t work for it, not even for free. It was a grey area I wasn’t prepared to navigate. Over time, I began to feel capped in my potential.

I had expected my green card in six months—the normal wait during 2009–2011—but more than four years passed, and it still hadn’t arrived. My wife, Asvini, went through her own rollercoaster: an H4 EAD card, then a cancellation, then another approval, and so on. It was all golden handcuffs—and I wanted nothing more than to break free.

Money:

In my twenties, I was already convinced there was no such thing as “enough”—no perfect number to chase. I wasn’t planning for retirement, but I was clear that wealth should be the byproduct, not the destination. For me, money mattered—but only as a side effect of pursuing something deeply aspirational and meaningful.

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Books Had a Profound Impact:

Many books fundamentally changed how I thought about life and success. Here are a few top ones:

The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho taught me that when you truly want something, the entire universe conspires to help you achieve it. But you have to be brave enough to pursue your personal goals, even when everyone thinks you’re crazy.

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz changed how I interact with the world daily. Don’t take anything personally. Don’t make assumptions. Always do your best. Be impeccable with your word. I made Akshara read this when she was 11 - these principles shaped my life and will my kids’.

The World is Flat by Thomas Friedman opened my eyes to how globalization and technology were leveling the playing field. If the world was truly flat, if I could compete globally from anywhere, then why was I limiting myself? I could build something from India and compete with anyone, anywhere. The book made me realize that in a flat world, talent and ideas matter more than geography.

Good to Great by Jim Collins showed me the difference between companies (and people) who settle for good versus those who push for greatness. The book talks about Level 5 leadership - leaders who are ambitious for their cause, not themselves. That resonated deeply. I realized I was being a “good” employee at Microsoft but would never be “great” there because it wasn’t my cause. I needed to find something where I could channel that ambition for something bigger than myself.

But that’s not all. During those same years, I read over 30+ amazing books that shaped my thinking.

Also:

My schooling at The Hyderabad Public School shaped me more than I realized. When I was a kid, every morning, we wore our khaki uniforms with pride. We sang the national anthem to the exact 52 seconds. Our school instilled a deep sense of patriotism and duty. We learned about our freedom fighters, our culture, our responsibility to the nation. That patriotism never left me. Maybe it was dormant in America, but it was always there.

There’s this scene in Swades where Shahrukh Khan who has been drinking only bottled water throughout his India visit, finally decides to drink from an earthen glass and tears roll. I must have watched that movie a hundred times during my years in Seattle. Profoundly impacted how I thought about returning to India.

How I Planned the Move.

Most people make emotional decisions and rationalize them later.

But I’m an engineer.

What would suck about moving back to India, and how do I fix it? I listed down.

Education: Indian schools can be intense and outdated. Solution: International curriculum (IGCSE/IB) schools. They exist in every major city now. No way we’d put our daughter through the CBSE rat race.

Safety: Traffic, crime, general chaos. Solution: Gated community with good security. Yes, it’s a bubble, but it’s an important one.

Healthcare: Private care is expensive but affordable. Solution: Good insurance plus emergency savings.

Family drama: Love my parents but living with them maybe a recipe for disaster. Solution: Same city, different house. Close enough to help, far enough to maintain sanity.

Career reset: Starting up is scary. Solution: MBA first for transition and credibility, then startup. ISB has a good reputation and network.

Money: We’d be going from high US salaries to zero income while building a business. Solution: Live off savings while building the business. Do what it takes to make it work.

Air pollution: Can’t do much about this one. Solution: Air purifiers maybe but just accept the trade-off.

Brand transition: Losing the Microsoft brand recognition. Solution: ISB would help bridge that gap in India.

Skills: Microsoft helped me stay cutting edge by default. Solution: My passion for tech should drive a learning attitude (influenced by the book, Mindset)

City: No place other than Hyderabad. Beyond being the place where I grew up, a million reasons why — even to this day.

Expenses: Use up savings and establish myself in the meantime.

2nd kid: Plan in India. Better to have parents around this time.

At the time, I wrote many points like these and created a risk-mitigation plan just like how I would at Microsoft.

It appeared at the time that the plan crystallized around ISB admission. If I got in, we’d do it easily. If not, maybe we needed a Plan B. But I wanted to try Plan A without having a Plan B in place. Maybe that helped — I got in.

Unfortunately, I could not join in 2016 because of some ongoing health issues for my daughter and asked for a deferral to join in 2017. It was meant to be. I made some of my best friends for life at the ISB.

ISB became a bridge between my Microsoft identity and whatever came next. The ISB campus in Hyderabad is a heaven — It was the perfect transition. Working and learning alongside the smartest people in the country helped me re-calibrate to India quite quickly.

The library is where I spent most of the time — and even now as an alum, that’s where I usually end up when visiting.

I surely could have made the transition back to India without ISB as well. In fact, building a startup has little to do with an MBA. But maybe I needed that little break, a little retreat and some learning before going all-in again.

If You’re Thinking About This

I get messages from people all over the world asking about returning to India. In fact, even this very blog post was triggered from an old friend asking me to write about my experience from quite some time.

It’s not about India vs America. It’s about where you want to build your life. If you’re happy being a well-paid employee in someone else’s country, stay. If you want to own your destiny and solve problems that matter to you, consider coming back.

The timing matters. Eight years ago, this move was hard. Five years from now, it will be a no-brainer. Right now, feels like a sweet spot - India has enough infrastructure to live comfortably, but still enough opportunity to build something meaningful.

Have a plan. Don’t move on emotion alone. Figure out housing, schooling, healthcare, career path. Have 2-3 years of runway saved up.

Start small. Come for a few months first. Work remotely if possible. Test the waters.

Network matters. Build relationships before your move. Reconnect with old classmates, show genuine interest. Everyone loves to help.

Be honest about trade-offs. You’ll give up some things to gain others. Make sure you’re okay with what you’re losing.

But most importantly: don’t let fear decide for you. Don’t stay just because leaving feels hard.

The American dream was sold to us by people who wanted our skills. Now many of them want us gone. Fine. Let’s go build something better.

Because when we look at India — we can say two things. Either we’re running away from problems, or we’re running toward opportunities.

The Real Question You Need to Answer.

The question isn’t whether India is better than America. The question is: where do you want to spend the best years of your life?

Where do you want your kids to grow up? Where do you want to grow old? Where do you want to make your mark on the world? Where do I want to die?

For me, the answer became clear some way along.

Eight years later, I’m building my own technology company. My 2 kids are growing with tons of time with me, closer home to my own parents who are aging gracefully with family around them. I sleep well at night knowing I’m solving problems I care about working on things that I am deeply passionate about.

I truly believe on one hand that we are in the age of abundance. One where there is never a winner takes all. We have so many opportunities right now, thanks to the way the world is structured, that it is not hard to win. But because we have too many opportunities, unless there’s structure to what you are doing, it’s again hard to win. Because you may fall victim to the Shiny Object Syndrome and keep moving from thing to thing.

The other day, I was coaching my daughter telling her that learning is way more important than marks. As parents, most people want their kids to get top “ranks” in class. However if you think about it, the world is not a zero sum game. We often talk about win-win situations, and other things that essentially mean we all can be successful in our own ways. She’s good at several things, which means it’s really hard to crack the top spot in one. I believe, that in the AI era, generalists win big time.

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When parents want their kids to get top “ranks” in class, they are indirectly signalling that other kids getting lesser “ranks” is acceptable or even necessary. How are we then inculcating a win-win mindset in the first place I wonder. Growing up, they’ll end up in a rat race to come first, but rarely win in life. To that extent, in our home, we never ask what their rank is — we simply ask their marks, that too in the context of, if they’re getting less marks, that it implies lesser conceptual clarity.

My son though— he wants to be a cricketer. For him competition is important, because unless he “ranks” well, he cannot succeed. There too, what I tell him is to give his best. Long ago, I read this quote

And it stuck with me forever. As long as he is operating at the edge of what he is capable of, he’s good. That itself is success to me. And I will ensure he treats success also the same way.

One small step in parenting, one huge difference in how they approach life.

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There is just a simple 2-step formula to awesomeness. Now this applies to everything that you do, but if you have a specific and measurable goal, it works out even better.

Here are the 2-steps:

1. Separate signal from noise.

2. Find patterns.

Separate signal from noise.

This is a skill that you have to master in. Just because something is coming from someone you admire it isn’t always right. And just because something is coming from someone you hate, doesn’t make it wrong. You need to learn from everywhere and everything, but also learn to separate what’s important and relevant vs. what’s not. Also, even when things seem correct, situation and circumstances matter. The same thing that is correct in one situation is also extremely wrong in another. If there is something that I learned about separating signal from noise over the years, it’s simply that everything has to be analyzed with a bullsh** filter. How refined is your bullsh** filter is the thing that matters the most. The more refined it is, the finer the signal. It’s an art — the art of separating signal from noise, and the sooner you master it, the better your life will become.

Find patterns.

Patterns are everywhere. Most people are already good at finding patterns. Stereotyping people or countries is an example that readily comes to mind. If not for patters, stereotyping wouldn’t exist. In fact, without one’s ability to recognize patterns, society would collapse. You recognize patterns in traffic, patterns in competence of people working with you, patterns in relationships, patterns in politics, and in markets. Without realizing, you might already be a pattern expert. But here’s the problem — the world is ever changing, which means, that the world today is not the world tomorrow, which means, that the patterns of today won’t be relevant tomorrow. That’s where your next skill lies. How effectively can you unlearn your patterns and learn new ones that matter. The only constant is change. The only real test is whether you can hold strong opinions loosely.

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As someone who is passionate about productivity and success, you know how important it is to stay focused and motivated in your work. But even the most passionate and dedicated people can struggle with staying on track and achieving their goals.

One key factor that is often overlooked in the pursuit of productivity is self-care. Taking care of yourself is essential to staying focused, motivated, and productive, and it should be a priority in your daily routine.

Self-care can take many forms, from exercise and healthy eating to meditation and downtime. Whatever form it takes, self-care is essential for maintaining your physical and mental health, which are both crucial to productivity.

When you prioritize self-care, you're able to work more efficiently and effectively, and you're also able to avoid burnout and maintain a positive attitude. This can help you achieve your goals and stay on track, even when things get tough.

So if you're serious about boosting your productivity, make sure to incorporate self-care into your daily routine. Your body and mind will thank you, and you'll be amazed at the positive impact it can have on your work and your life. Give it a try and see for yourself!

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Here’s a ChatGPT use case that will send chills down your spine.

Most people are underestimating the power of what just happened last week with ChatGPT.

Yes, ChatGPT can do almost everything to a more than reasonable extent, but here’s the mother of all use cases.

Transfer of consciousness.

Highly likely that this can happen within the next 5 years. 

1. You’ll take a series of psychometric and psychological assessment tests. These tests will capture intelligence levels, personality, or cognitive abilities. Your answers will help the system understand what kind of a person you are. These are simple tests such as the MBTI, StrengthsFinder, Emergenetics, etc., or the more nuanced ones such as the WAIS, MMPI, CogAT, or NEO-PI.

2. But each individual has memories that they grew up with. So let’s feed in that as well – All the photos and videos starting from their childhood days. Have weights in place so that they don’t have to recall everything with the same clarity – just like any “typical” human being.

3. Fit them into a relationship graph of all the people they know, and in the context they know them. Ask a series of questions related to them because you want to be able to reconstruct memories based on how important these people have been in their life. I checked with ChatGPT - there are a bunch of tests, such as SSRQ, FACES, DAS, etc., that can be used.

Time to subscribe if you haven’t already :)

4. Ok, now we have personality, memories, and relationships. That’s pretty close. But there’s more. What are we missing? Thoughts and dreams. Aspirations. Lessons that they want to share. Basically, consciousness. It gets tricky, but it’s ok. The Brain-Machine Interface work at Neuralink, is bound to advance considerably in the next few years. EEG technology is advancing too, so getting some of the finest details of brain activity is not that hard now.

So, what will happen?

As we analyze the parts of the brain that are getting triggered in conjunction with the stimuli, we can almost recreate the same kind of “neural” activity in a non-living system. Over time, this will improve and get scarily close to replicating the consciousness of a specific human being.

We are all mortal, but our consciousness need not be. Think about what the implications could be. Truly mind-blowing.

#intelligence #technology #chatgpt

I consciously learned how to focus.

I now handle multiple things with ease and focus at the same time.

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Here are some of the things that work.

1. Stop following the news. 99% of what happens doesn't affect you. But the media's job is to instantly get everything to you wherever you are. You need space from media. Everyone does. Read a newspaper instead, once a day. I read Mint (minimum noise).

2. Remove clutter. It's distracting you away from everything you are working on. Keep your workspace super simple and sparkly clean.

3. Keep your mobile on DND. Always. Call back once you are free. Share a secret way someone can reach you in case something is urgent, but only a few need to know this. Calls from unknown numbers that are urgent are rare. Don't let it affect your norm.

4. Assume that nothing is as bad as it looks or as good as it looks. Adopt calmness as a way of life and dealing with things. Talk slowly, take the time to understand before responding, and show genuine interest and care in things. Showing you care (after some delay) is much better than an instant, unthought-through response.

5. Keep your default answer to take up or do anything as NO. No is powerful. And when you have to put in much effort to get to a YES, that means you've thought everything through.

6. Meditate. Most leaders I know practice meditation every day. Millions of people already benefit from it. It is not unscientific. People who benefit don't talk about it openly because there is societal pressure to conform to a stance that’s not worth fighting about.

7. Remember that focus doesn't happen by trying to focus; it comes by making sure you start doing things. This post did not happen because I was focused on writing it. I started writing it, deleting it, writing more, deleting more, and finally got to a flow state. That's how focus happens. Don't wait for it. Make it happen.

8. Create a chain of tasks. You can build this chain as you go. But merely having a task waiting for your attention will make you want to complete the task at hand faster. It doesn't matter whether you put complex or simple tasks first. Simpler tasks energize you, and complex ones challenge you. Both are good to have at the start.

Have more tips that you've learned on how to focus? Please add in the comments. 

#work #focus

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When we returned to India in 2017, I continued to spend the way I normally would when working with Microsoft in the US. And as a result, made tons of mistakes that I just shouldn't have.

Over the next few years, I learned many things related to finances that I wouldn't have if I had continued working at the job.

1. Utilisation factor matters. If I have a lot of things but hardly use most of them, it is a sure way to be depressed. (Look around)

2. The core idea of money is that it facilitates easy exchange of goods and services. Not that you have to have a lot of it to get everything up for sale. (Read this twice)

3. The true worth of money is in what it can do for you. Yes, an emergency medical fund is important. Insurances are important. A good home, healthy food, a good school for kids, and a nice lifestyle are all important. But beyond that, everything else is only nice to have. (Remember good, not best)

4. Society pushes a narrative for money that you should avoid believing in. Most people fall for it. If someone bought a posh villa, they flaunt about it and make you want to buy one as well. They do it to validate their own insecurities. Don't fall for it.

5. True wealth is about meaningful relationships. Money can't do anything about it. In fact, the more money you throw at it, the tougher it becomes to build them.

6. Diversification matters. Cannot stress this enough. This is the only thing that will give you peace of mind about your finances. Only after I started diversifying I got hold of my finances. Also, no knee-jerk changes to strategies.

7. Prefer services over goods - every single time. The joy of buying something doesn't last long after you buy it. Usually, every additional thing we buy comes with maintaining it for years and sometimes decades. Pampering yourself or outsourcing mundane stuff in your life is a much better option. So if you must spend, consider services over goods.

8. Investing in yourself by buying AND reading a book, taking a class that you've forever wanted to, and learning something new are things that will compound your joy over time for a long period. Don't look for shortcuts here. Things start to make sense once they start compounding.

So yes, I did forget to spend, at least the way I used to. I am prudent and look for returns now. Not the kind that society thinks you should look for. I simply look around for joy - the joy of life.

Have more tips that you've learned on your life journey? Please add in the comments. 

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It's always best to start with "everyone is a genius.”

But most often, people start with “no one is a genius.”

It’s easy to poke holes when you assess and judge someone by what they are NOT known for.

In the pursuit of validating our own genius, let’s not minimize what others have to offer.

From a street vendor to a software engineer to a CEO, every person is good at something.

When you start with “everyone is a genius,” we try to search for that one thing that person is doing best. 

And you have no reason to stop until you find it.

On the contrary, when you start with “no one is a genius,” you get an answer quite quickly since one hole in their skillset is all you need.

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A lot of times, we think we are at the receiving end of things.

But what we fail to recognize is that we get what we seek.

If we seek pleasure, we find things that are pleasurable even in the midst of despair.

If we seek pain, we find things that are painful even in the midst of joy.

In relationships, too, if we want to find faults in someone, we look for faults, and we use those flaws to justify a “faulty person”

If we want to find goodness in someone, we look for good things, and we use those good things to justify a “good person”

You get what you seek.

Rather, you seek what you want to get.

So then, seek happiness in life, search for the good things in people, and never let negativity come your way or control how you look at life. Life is too short.

Some of our deep-rooted fears always stop us from making the decisions we need to in life.

Fear stops us from quitting doing something we don’t love in the first place, because; well what if we may never find the thing we are looking for. Fear even keeps us away from loving someone endlessly and madly, because deep within we know we may have to part ways at some point. Generally, people continue to be afraid of societal rejections, rejection from parents, peers, siblings, or even our kids. We fear failure to the point where we learn to lead a life that we think is “safe” even if it means we are unhappy in general.

To understand why this happens, go back a few million years to the earliest humans wandering in the wild, and living in small groups. We had to wander in groups for survival and keep the tallest male in the group as the leader so he could look farther out for danger. These groups rejected people who were rebels because they caused risk for the whole group. It’s hardwired into our DNA and we continue to believe that we always have to fit in.

There’s nothing much you can do about it than wonder whether they are still relevant now in this day and age. Once you acknowledge how a lot of these fears and prejudices we have are pretty archaic, it’s time to label them for what they truly are - “unproductive fears”.

Every fear stems from a possibility. Possibilities are just imaginations. Imagination is a blessing and a curse. If only we learn to use imaginations as ways to dream, instead of ways to create fear, our life will be bliss. Easier said than done, this is achieved by constantly embracing a growth mindset in everything that we do every day. Always embrace that a million things could go wrong, but you only are one small part of the reason why. Even when you do everything the way it should be done, there is no guarantee for success or happiness in life.

Eastern philosophy emphasizes actions rather than goals and asks you to focus on the now. In Western philosophy, let’s take the declaration of independence, where we mention life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. It is always the journey that we cherish and not the destination. So when you fear failure next time or experience it, think of it as just a small part of that journey - a journey that has no destination indeed. Only then do these fears become productive and help you instead of hurting.

Until next time!

Stop justifying any major decision/action in life, after you’ve already taken them.

Why?

When we justify our actions, we ease ourselves off the pain that makes us think if we could have done it better.

This pain is needed to make better decisions or to have the courage to do things in better ways next time.

Without this pain, we also tend to start thinking we always do the right things.

Without this pain, we develop a know-it-all attitude instead of a learn-it-all attitude, something that is detrimental to your success.

Without this pain, we live more happily, but less in pursuit of our dreams.

Why? Because it’s quite hard to spread positivity. Imagine you’re trying to say that things will get better when things are in a sad state. Why should anyone believe you?

For one, that’s not helping them reinforce their feelings of doom and gloom - that is, if they’re in distress themselves, and you are talking about positive things - it’s always easy for them to ask you to be in their shoes.

Moreover, if you’re positive, and things don’t get better, people are going to point fingers. But if you’re negative, and things get better, who cares to come back and point fingers at you. They’re just going to think you were being cautious.

Even more, spreading negativity is relatively easy too. Just keep blaming the system, politicians, society, and the kitchen sink. Who cares? Just blame everything except the person who’s listening to your rant. Easy peasy.

It’s always easier to be pessimistic than optimistic, at least with others. But don’t let that get in your way to be optimistic.

This rigidity costs dearly. Politicians use it to divide and rule, play with emotions and win at their game. Forget politicians, even people around you probably take advantage of your rigidity to things, to make things happen their way.

The first step to being flexible with your beliefs is to stop debating about everything. We all know all political parties right now are sh**, and that it doesn’t matter who is at the helm when it comes to justice or improvement for the common man. We also know something that is happening halfway across the world has little impact on your wellbeing right now. Let’s just simply stop debating about all the countless useless things we do every single day.

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking, and don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.” — Steve Jobs

Over the course of years, you’ll meet a lot of people who start out seeking to realize their dreams. When a lot of those who you think are equally capable as you, drop off mid way, you start to not believe in yourself. Do not let that happen to you. Remember that it is always lonely at the top. Remember that very few people will be with you in your journey until the end. Remember that the people you think who are equally capable as you, are probably not. Remember that everyone has different choices and priorities.

“It’s impossible,” said pride. “It’s risky,” said experience. “It’s pointless,” said reason. “Give it a try,” whispered the heart. — Unknown

This is the time you want to listen to your heart.